Monday, January 26

Detox Diet Bootcamp!

TOTAL BODY TWO WEEK DETOX BOOTCAMP - Join me as I clean out my organs while rejuvenating my skin, hair and overall well being! 

February, the month everyone officially cancels their shakeology plan and deflates (or rather inflates) with defeat.

But not for us my little tulips.  This year, I have revolted against ye ol resolution and decided to adopt a one-day-at-a-time lifestyle of self improvement.  Noble, perhaps, but it actually feels a bit more attainable than my normal 'lose my love handles by Jan 31 or become a nun' mantra.

So here it goes!  This is your two week jumpstart diet!  Read the chart, shed a tear for the lack of wine and chocolate, then scroll below for words of encouragement. 

Feels daunting?  It's two stinkin' weeks.. you can do it.   And this is not a starvation plan - it's quite the opposite. These two weeks will be quick and painless and you'll be showering me with love letters once the weight starts sliding off.  This plan is built to be affordable, easy and effective.  If you are looking for a more gourmet approach to weight loss, please visit the food section of my blog for truffle infused recipes and splurge worthy tips!  But remember, this plan is meant to be mostly monotonous ... in weeks three and four I will add nuts, yogurt more fruits, meats and grains (and yes chocolate and wine)... but these two weeks are a bootcamp. Clearly, we have all learned by now that no trail mix is safe in the house, and whoever denoted 1/4 cup as the serving size should be ostracized from society .  I mean, I've been 'dieting' for years and I have never had just one serving of nuts.. lets get real. My two week plan will shrink your stomach, and keep you full of good heart-healthy nutrients that will detox your system, rev your metabolism and get you on the right track for healthy life-long maintenance of your ideal weight.  Another founding component of this two week jumpstart is to nix our addiction to sugar and salt.  For good.

Friday, January 9

Life Lessons I learned from Improv Class

As I groggily drove home from the final Improv 3 class at Second City, I tried to justify the now $1100 I have spent at the school.  Sure the classes are absolutely hysterical and so much fun.  And I can say without a doubt that I have not only stepped out my shell but I perhaps even shed the damn thing all together (picturing a shell-less turtle is not exactly the model image of courage I was trying to conjure with that metaphor - but you get the idea).  But confidence boost and mastery of 101 theater games can't really be worth the grand I should have put towards a new car...

or can it?

1. The golden improv rule: Never say no.  To say no to your scene partner in an improv sketch is the highest offensive, punishable by banishment from subsequent participation.  Really.  No matter how odd or vulgar the suggestion is - if your scene partner blurts out 'like a bag of dicks', you damn well follow up with, 'oh right, that's a great idea Billy - maybe we should gift him two bags of dicks just to show our gratitude!'.   Albeit a horrible example, this rule is painstakingly applicable in life.  Stop automating with no and negativity.  Saying YES as often as you can in life will leave you wide eyed and ready for all of life's greatest pleasures.

2. I guess the golden rule is really not just 'always say yes' it is always say 'yes - and'. It is not enough to just be a minion who blindly agrees.  In improv you add on by saying yes, then building upon the idea or situation in order to propel the scene forward with life and vitality.  Are we finding a pattern with how this applies to life? YES AND it is that in improv and in the real world it is always a rewarding experience to be a contributor.

3. Everything is open to interpretation.  Today an audience member suggested 'curling' and one improviser started curling his hair, and the other started curling weights.  They recognized the miscommunication... and made it work - turning the story into a school too cheap to build separate male and female locker rooms in the gym.  My perspective is so drastically different from yours.. and that's where the magic of collaboration comes into play.  Tis important in life to be completely open to interpretation. Let yourself see things from another point of view...and never assume anyone will see things from your eyes.

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