Wednesday, October 30

The BEST Healthy Apple Crisp

(PUBLISHED ON CAREPILOT.COM, NOVEMBER 2013)

The age old saying "An Apple A Day Keeps the Doctor Away" holds quite a bit of truth.  Not only are apples rich with antioxidants, they also provide an impressive amount of fiber.  This perfect handheld snack carries Vitamin C, b complex vitamins that keep the nervous system functioning properly, and phytonutrients to help protect the body from the effects of free radicals.  As if that wasn't enough, apples are also rich in calcium, potassium and phosphorus!

Apples are a great snack year round, but is there is nothing more quintessential for fall than apple picking.  I thoroughly enjoy dragging in an overflowing bag of hand picked apples, but there are only so many apples I can snack on each day before my prized fruit starts to go bad.   Most will turn to

Wednesday, October 16

Healthy Chicken Piccata

Chicken is a staple for dieters looking to trim down and tone up.  But there is only so many nights we can grill chicken and serve it with steamed vegetables before we turn to pizza and pasta out of boredom.

So this week I took one of my favorite chicken dishes, chicken piccata and tweeked it into the most healthy version I could.

Chicken piccata is simple. A lemon and caper sauce over pan fried chicken.  And what better way to jazz up chicken then with lemon.   Lemons aid in keeping your immune system in top shape, help cleanse the liver, and are packed with vitamin C, citric acid and magnesium!

So throw on the apron, pull out the fancy plates and get ready to impress with my quick, easy, and healthy chicken piccata recipe.

What you will need:

INGREDIENTS
-chicken breasts (1 breast per person)
-whole wheat flour

Wednesday, October 9

XIV

Summer weekends in Los Angeles aren't a flip flop affair for the young and restless Hollywood dwellers.  They are a full blown rave.  From the rooftop hotel lounges to the mansion pool parties - you will find girls in bikinis with stilettos and guys still afraid to let go of their fedoras.

...and then comes the 5 o'clock wind down of a pool party on Sunday.

After a weekend of drugs, tanning and the same edm song playing on repeat, one would imagine the hollywoodians would crawl back into their apartments to prepare for the workweek.   But not these fist pumping diehards. 

Come 5pm the doors of XIV open up and the neon crowd storms in to spray champagne, and well, get even more blackout wasted than they did on Friday and Saturday combined. 

Now, you may be wondering how a sweet, adorable, level minded girl like myself is so well informed about this 'XIV' hooligan hangout.  I'd say curiosity killed the cat, but I have gone once every year.  I'd say it's tradition that I go once a year, but after each time I vow never to return.  I'm just going to blame it on my roommate begging (mentioning she might go once via text) and me not being able to pass up a fist-pumping, champagne-spraying, ludicrous-in-every-sense-of-the-word, time.




So here are my warnings to anyone who has the same neon bright idea as me when they reopen next Summer:

1.  It's called FOURTEEN.  That's XIV in Roman Numerals.  XVI is sixteen.  Stop ruining Hollywoods reputation for intelligent and motivated residents (look I made a funny) and stop #hashtagging if you can't get the damn name right.

2. You must mentally prepare for what is going to happen to you.  There will be a theme.  And it will be scary at times when you find yourself sans friends in line for the bathroom.  There will be drugs.  Dont drink anybody's "happy water". It's not the same idiot who wrote #xvi mistaking smart water.  It's drugs. And if you drink it the theme will become a bit more overwhelming. 

3. But YAY there will be a theme!  Have fun and dress up!  Or bring 50 dollars to spend on a 4 dollar neon crop top tank top at the door.  Either way, hooray!

4. Girls.  Your hair will get soaked.  in champagne.  bring elastics accordingly.  

5.  Really, people buy shitty champagne and spray it everywhere.  There's even a slogan - "Save water, spray champagne" And it doesn't end.  They even sell umbrellas!!  From 5-10 there's a constant 'shower' that is completely unavoidable.

6. At some point, a hot girl will walk up to you and slap a wrist band on you that says 'and we're still going'.  You think aww fun, a momento of the great time I had here.  No.  Get this.  All of these people... GO TO A CLUB from here, and DRINK MORE.  I told you it was ludicrous.  This wristband is your entry into the club.  And, I know, now I'm just talking crazy, there are after parties AFTER the club. Let.  That.  Sink.  In. 


So did I have fun?  Well.  I put my number in two peoples phones and they came up "chelsea xiv" and "blonde xiv".  Two different people.  This makes me worry a bit.  I missed the gym Monday morning, had the shakes for two days, ruined a tank top, and saw some questionable things that have forever desensitized me in Hollywood. 

But F yeah it was fun.  A slogan, 'Save water, spray champagne' ?!  And a legitimate open air Sunday day club only open in the summer and only accessible to girls, promoters or dudes with absurd amounts of money?  Let me just say it is an experience.  And one I wouldn't want to have more than once a year.






Sunday, October 6

Another one bites the dust. Audition 1, Chelsea 0

Actor life is getting a bit ...how shall I say it... it is getting to be a bit of a struggle.  


I just left an audition at this beautiful theatre within walking distance to my apartment.  And when I pushed open the heavy mahogany doors I knew in my heart's heart that I would land this part. 

Problem was, I wasn't quite sure which part I was reading for.  

So I pull instead of push the door until someone helps me and clumsily stumble inside.  The casting assistant asks which role I'm reading for.  Well, funny story, I'm not really even quite sure - a friend who was working at the theatre just happen to extend an invitation to a casting and I thought well, no opportunity is a bad one unless you miss it! 

hm.

There were four other women (let me reiterate women.  because I keep booking 19-20) all dressed, head to toe, in Marilyn Monroe outfits.  


So I reply, "I'm reading for Marilyn!"  I'm wearing black leggings, little booties, a white tank top and an oversized zebra sweater (stop judging me. it was cold out). 

"Great have a seat".

As I start reading over the Marilyn sides my nervousness subsides and I feel elated with confidence.  I AM Marilyn, I WILL get this part.  I'm perfect for it.  I rehearse how I'll say each word, how I'll command the stage, how I'll pile on the sex appeal.  Well, I rehearse this all in my head anyways.

I can faintly hear the audition before me, and I hear a bunch of applause.  How many casting people are in there I wonder?  Oh well.  All the more people to impress.  

And now it's my turn.  So I waltz in with my zebra grandma sweater and I take front and center stage on the most beautiful and regal stage I have ever stepped foot on.  There is even a balcony!

I pucker my lips, sashay my hips and get ready to deliver my lines with conviction. 

"Alright dear can you just do your song first then we'll get to the lines"

"what? a song? was I supposed to prepare something?!"

"no no.  anything will do.  just give your normal audition song.  You're a singer right?"

"yes, I can sing"

"whats your range"

"um well. I sing low.  like baritone"  (i cringe immediately.  baritone is the guys range).

"alright well just sing happy birthday for us"

here it goes.  I walk up to the microphone and I caress it, and slide down singing my sexiest "Missstah pressssident" and when it's all through I wait for my applause. 

someone shuffles their feet.  

"hah. hah.  that was like a show tune version."  the casting directors exchange looks "alright well go ahead with your lines"


And so I performed.  I paced back and forth, I delivered each line, didn't miss a beat.  But the Marilyn had faded.  The character was gone.  She died in the Happy Birthday song, and now it was just some too thin blonde shuffling her feet in the middle of this grand stage. 

It ended.  There was still no applause.  

So I gathered my things and breathed a sigh of release.  Lesson learned, now pack up your humility and hightail it home for a glass (or 3) of wine.  

"Hey, can you do a french accent?"

"of course!" 

They like me! they like me!

"Good.  go read the sides for Lila, we'll call you back in after a few minutes"

Hooray! I knew my performance was good. I brought so much life to the character.  I just didnt get it because I'm too young!! 

I take the new sides in my hand and read them (in my head) with my best French accent.  The only basis I have is Sebastian the crab from Little Mermaid, but I feel like I've still got a pretty good grip on this.  Instead of stripper I'll say streepah.  Instead of mister, meestah.   Piece of cake. I search "french for dummies" and look up a few more vowel tricks.  Down pact.  I knew I was always great at accents!  Hah! the way everyone will be so impressed when I nail this! And then I can put it on my resume!  No one will ever even know I was born here! I'll book every french role there is!

"Alright we're ready for you"

Back on stage.  Another pucker of the lips.

And I deliver my lines. In a perfect French accent.  beautiful even. 

but.. there's still no applause.  At this point I've hear applause from every other audition.  And there's likely been a dozen. 

"well thank for trying"

And with that.  I left.  And picked up another bottle of wine on my way home, in case 3 glasses wouldn't cut it.

So what is the lesson learned?  

Be prepared.  Know your strengths ...AND your weaknesses. Dress the part.  And when all else fails, keep a full wine bar stocked.

"I don't mind making jokes.  But I don't want to look like one"- Marilyn Monroe

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