Parents.

There are so many times i wish I could shoot home to do my laundry, or ask advice while helping weed the garden, or raid my parents cabinets for the zebra cakes they still buy for me even though I have told them for the last 8 years I am watching my figure.

I miss them so much.  And while technology helps us communicate daily, it's just not the same.  Sometimes you need a hug from your dad over a bud light and rummy, a shopping trip with your mom, or a good heart pounding run through the cranberry bogs with your dogs.

It is a cruel reality that our parents are so much older than us, that they don't get to experience our entire lives right along with us.  Maybe I'll come to terms with the passing of the torch and the circle of life, but for now it just seems unfathomable.  I truly cannot imagine a single day without chatting on the phone with Papa, or calling my mom excited about a new audition.

Blame it on only child syndrome (like I do everything else), but my parents and my mom's twin sister are more than just a mom, a dad and an aunt, they honestly are my very best friends.

They will never stumble upon this blog, but it feels good knowing that my gratitude and love for them is out there in the universe.

Never forget where you came from, but more importantly, don't forget those who helped you get to where you are. 

Label GMOS!

Before yesterday, I had always advocated for choosing organic if the option is available.  But as we all know, organic can be scarce in restaurants and our local grocers, and when it is available, organic is usually synonymous with expensive. 

At the Awareness Film Festival in Santa Monica, I sat in on the documentary "Genetic Roulette."   The films purpose is to educate viewers on the dangers of ingesting chemically altered foods, and highlights all of the research that links GMO ingestion with the rise in children's food allergies, cancer, sickly and irritable livestock, infertility, and even the rise in autism.  With all research, nothing should be taken without a grain of (organic) salt.  The research does not prove that eating GMO foods causes any medical problems, but it does show that the two correlate.  The statistics with livestock fed GMO diets versus livestock eating non GMO feed is astounding.  And many health problems in children through adults have been cleared up from simply switching to non GMO diets. The funding for research against genetically modified foods and the publication advocating for their abolishment is scarce.  I could write another article on the corruption of Monsanto Company, but here is not the place nor the time.  Just know that there is quite a bit of money working to punish and suppress anyone who stands up against GMO foods.  

Whether or not genetically modified foods cause cancers, infertility, and all of the other claims, I believe the lesson here is much simpler.  Know what you are putting into your body, and the bodies of your family.  I urge you to search for and pay the extra for organic, to read labels carefully, to push for labeling of GMO foods.  Reach for raw fruits, nuts and vegetables, unprocessed meats and fresh fish.  I promise to provide you with plentiful healthy recipes that taste delicious and use no processed or packaged ingredient that are so far from their derivatives they don't even bare a resemblance.  

When your skin starts to glow, your hair shines, you are less irritable and you feel more energized, you'll thank me!  Until then, do a little research and spread the word.  Let's Label GMO! 

Happy.

This might be the longest I've gone without posting.. but it is for good reason.

I have been really busy!!! I booked the travel channel pilot! I've been working on a webseries called "Filmin' in Noho"! I filmed something for "Veria Healthy Living Network"! Worked as a model for "SWYT Culture Shoes" and got called back to work another day because I killed it!  Booked a medical detective role on "Angel City"!  working as a film scout for Ostrow and Company!  Blogging for $$ for a social media company! And the list, and the exclamation points, goes on!

I feel blessed.  Stressed and blessed. I'm so hectic and feel a little out of control, but it's this amazing - the world is at your feet - out of control.  I'm trying so hard to actualize my dreams, and every day I feel a bit closer.

I am overwhelmed with happiness.  A joy so refreshing and new.. that it feels almost foreign.  I know with certainty that I am on the right path, and even if I veer slightly off, at least it will be in the right direction.

Cannot wait to find the time to share everything with you. To reflect on all the absurdities on set, my first time at the magic castle, new trx routines, auditioning nightmares, a recipe for kale chips.. just everything.

This is the choppiest & least cohesive post I have ever written, but I feel obliged to spit something out while I am in my euphoria.

So, I leave you with this:

  Find something or someone that makes you smile so big your cheeks hurt.  Laugh until you're worried you'll pee your pants.  Dream bigger than you think feasible.  Jog the extra mile.  Sing karaoke.  Hug everyone you love.  Find your purpose.  Feel the music.  Step out of your comfort zone.  And be true to you.

Thanks for the clicks.  Every time I see my daily hits rise , I feel a bit more connected to you all, and a bit more in sync with humanity.  Love you. xoxo 

Bliss

Can you remember the last time you couldn't stop smiling?  The last time you were so blissfully happy that you had tears in your eyes and you felt completely at one with yourself and the world you inhabit?

I couldn't either.  Until today.  

I was leaving a shoot for a health and fitness show for cable, about to make the trek home.  While I was listening to Kenny Chesney and making mental checklists of things I needed to get done, I slipped out a smile.  Today was fun, the shoot went great, and who know? It could lead to even more.  

Thankfully, I am not unaccustomed to this feeling of contentment, or pride, or accomplishment... or even happiness in general.  I feel truly blessed most mornings and I still have moments of bliss that take my breath away.  I relished in the grin before being snapped back to reality with an email notification. 

The email was asking me for a background check following a callback I went on.  From the Travel Channel.  Sure it's just a pilot, and yes nothing is set in stone.. but I am so close to my dream life, I can taste it.   

In this brief instance I was overcome with joy.  An uninhibited bliss I hadn't felt since my childhood. I felt like I was in the right place at the right time.  That the stars were aligned, that my destiny was in my hands.. and that, after getting lost and breaking down a time or two, I was finally on the right path. 

This might not be my break, but it was the reminder I needed that my dreams are attainable.. and if I hang in there and stay positive, they will come to fruition. 

I don't always love myself, but I'm trying to learn to.  And with each day that I work to find myself and discover who I am and who I want to become, I feel a little closer to actualizing my dreams.  

 Now that I know this feeling, I want to aspire to find it again, and again until it's a normal indulgence.  I'm going to double count my blessings, hope for the best, put myself out there and reach for the stars ...but hopefully feel completely content if I land somewhere close instead. 

And I wish the same for all of you. too. :)