I am not a juicer.
I thoroughly enjoy eating . I love the pomp and circumstance of dining out, the satisfaction of preparing a homemade meal, the pride in a sprouting garden. Nothing gets me like exploring the differing tastes and textures of a new food, and I truly consider myself a "full blown foodie" in every sense of the word.
Despite this, I find myself on day one of a juice cleanse. My boyfriend is one carb away from overeaters anonymous and has vowed to juice for 10 days to drop weight fast.
Because I don't feel like going alone to dinner each night, I have decided to join on Matts juicing cleanse. Well that.. and yacht week is creeping up and I wouldn't reaaaally mind losing my love handles prior to setting sail. OK fine. I was maybe tempted a little by the challenge too. I can, and will, outlast Matt in his juice-athalon. (chalk it up to only-child-syndrome but I've got a fierce competitive side)
I've guzzled 4 cups of juice today. While I do feel full, I'm completely horrified that Matt actually wants to keep this up tomorrow. I mean really. We're in Beverly Hills - snuggled between culinary gems like Spago, Cut, Maestros and Il Fornio. Not to mention yogurtland, sprinkles and menchies.
To anyone else insane enough to consider this rare torture, I bestow day one's trials and tribulations:
LESSONS LEARNED FROM DAY 1 of JUICIN'!
1. Juicing is extremely costly. You are buying organic, and you are buying a lot. My breakfast (hah! If you can call it that) drink was 1 peach, 2 cups of kale, a whole cucumber, mango chunks, ginger, half a lemon. All that for one measley drinkable cup of juice and a full shopping bag of "unusable" fruit and veggie waste.
2. Don't work out if you are juicin' (seems funny right - ya know, juicin.. steroids). Anyways, to avoid fainting in exhaustion post 9am weight lifting class, I swallowed some spirulina algae pills (skinnybits.com, promo code: healthy) to get a little protein & extra nutrients.
3. Ok. So supposedly there are quite a few possible side effects to juicing. One of them being "face boils". Not sure what that entails, but my tip here is to obsessively check your face for new bumps and if you find one immediately go to the closest fast food joint and give up the idea of detoxing for good. Would you really take face boils over skinny? Because I sure as hell wouldn't.
4. Everyone has a weak time for hunger. Mine is in the AM. To counter my incessant desire to nibble endlessly on anything and everything I can rummage, I drank Slim Life Blueberry Green Tea (Yogi teas too so you get the adorable little sentiment quote with each tea bag) and two 8 oz glasses of water to quell my rumbling belly. Most people experience this hunger mid afternoon - so plan accordingly. Water down your juice so you fill your stomach, sip tea, slug water, put crest white strips in, anything you can do to keep your mind off of warm reeces cup peanut butter cookies (what?)
5. Okay, maybe this is just me, but it helped today. Watch the food network, read a health cook book, go grocery shopping, and don't shy away from food. The most valuable lesson to take from your juice detox is pride in your self discipline and will power.
6. A little fresh ginger goes a long way.
7. Best combo thus far: apple, carrot, ginger, beet, kale and/or wheat grass.
8. Other great add-ins: pineapple, berries, grapes, mangoes, mint, basil, tomatoes, watermelon, lime, broccoli, celery,
9. Tell someone else you're juicin' (but perhaps don't call it juicin, since they will most likely assume steroids) so you feel guilty quitting after one day.
10. Ease into it. The days leading up to your juice-cation, eliminate fried foods and reduce sugars, processed foods, caffeine, and alcohol. A day or two leading up eat/juice as many fruit and vegetables as you'd like but still eat solid foods like chicken, fish and whole grains.
11. Lastly, but arguably most importantly. I suppose alcohol and caffeine should be omitted from your detox, but lets get real and see this on a logical level. Wine is basically juiced grapes right? (don't argue with me). So everyone has their vice. This juice diet is for you. Don't miss your sisters birthday because you're juicing and don't want to eat at dinner. Its about eating right to live better, not living worse to eat better.
** i can't put this as a tip because I have yet to try it... but (drum roll)..
What about this - juice all your fruits first, empty bin to a mason jar, sprinkle with sugar and store until you give up this juicing nonsense for good.
NEXT (and get this! drum roll and triangle please), you add all your vegetables - heavy on the tomatoes - and move the discarded skins and unjuiced vegetable sections to a mason jar. Add garilc/parsley/lime/cayenne pepper and wah-lah! Salsa!
