Lessons Learned from 1 Month Sober

The day before my 27th birthday I suggested to my budweiser-before-noon, bottle-o'-wine-for-dinner, Vietnam vet dad that we try a month sober.  Never imagining he would actually agree, I found myself near panic when we ended the call.  Could I really survive 30 long, lonely wine-less nights?  And even if I do make it, what's the point in torturing myself in such a horrific manner?

Now, it is not like I am some kind of beer slugger at a regulars' bar or a fiend who hides her vodka addiction.  Simply put, I just itch for a glass of wine after a stressful day... and it just so happen all of my days are stressful.  It is not an addiction, I just identify with the European notion that life is not worth living without vino. or du vin. 

Coconut Peanut Butter

On the North shore of Oahu there are a few little shops that sell a big piece of heaven: North Shore Goodies coconut peanut butter. 

Now, I will never be able to recreate their magic.  Even if I could - it wouldn't taste the same to enjoy it on toast in West Hollywood.   The North Shore Goodie's coconut peanut butter is an experience to enjoy with a spoon with your soulmate while you watch the sun set from Turtle Bay.  

This peanut butter recipe won't give you that.  But it comes as close as my food processor will take me. 

Ingredients:

-a bag of unsalted peanuts 

-1/2 cup coconut butter (or 3 cups shredded unsweetened coconut flakes)

-1 tsp coconut oil

-1 tsp honey

-1 tsp sea salt 

-1/2 tsp cinnamon 

(optional) -drop of liquid stevia or 1/2 packet stevia or 1 tsp agave 

Directions:

put in the food processor and pulse until you can't pulse anymore.  Really, you'll be pulsing forEVER. But eventually the nuts will turn to a smooth creamy consistency.

If you don't have coconut butter then start with just the coconut flakes until they become a whipped butter. (you'll have to pulse for 5 minutes, stopping to scrape the sides)

Baked Cinnamon Apple Chips

An apple a day keeps your waist whittling away ...if you ask me.   But for some reason you can't replace the crunch of your cape cod salt and vinegar chips with the crunch of a jazz apple.  I get it.  And I'm here to help.

BAKED CINNAMON APPLE CHIPS

1. preheat oven to 250 degrees.

2. cut off the top and bottom of a red apple and discard.  Slice apple into thin pieces using a knife or a mandoline. 

3. Mix 2 tsp cinnamon with 1/2 tsp nutmeg.  Dip both sides of the apple slices into the spice mix and lay evenly on greased cookie tray or parchment paper.  Optional toppings: sugar, coconut oil, cranberries.

4.  Bake for 1 hour or when the apple slices have begun to curl up on the sides.  Use spatula to transfer chips to a cooling wrack.  Let cool for 20 minutes or until crispy.

Detox Diet Bootcamp!

TOTAL BODY TWO WEEK DETOX BOOTCAMP - Join me as I clean out my organs while rejuvenating my skin, hair and overall well being! 

February, the month everyone officially cancels their shakeology plan and deflates (or rather inflates) with defeat.

But not for us my little tulips.  This year, I have revolted against ye ol resolution and decided to adopt a one-day-at-a-time lifestyle of self improvement.  Noble, perhaps, but it actually feels a bit more attainable than my normal 'lose my love handles by Jan 31 or become a nun' mantra.

So here it goes!  This is your two week jumpstart diet!  Read the chart, shed a tear for the lack of wine and chocolate, then scroll below for words of encouragement. 

Feels daunting?  It's two stinkin' weeks.. you can do it.   And this is not a starvation plan - it's quite the opposite. These two weeks will be quick and painless and you'll be showering me with love letters once the weight starts sliding off.  This plan is built to be affordable, easy and effective.  If you are looking for a more gourmet approach to weight loss, please visit the food section of my blog for truffle infused recipes and splurge worthy tips!  But remember, this plan is meant to be mostly monotonous ... in weeks three and four I will add nuts, yogurt more fruits, meats and grains (and yes chocolate and wine)... but these two weeks are a bootcamp. Clearly, we have all learned by now that no trail mix is safe in the house, and whoever denoted 1/4 cup as the serving size should be ostracized from society .  I mean, I've been 'dieting' for years and I have never had just one serving of nuts.. lets get real. My two week plan will shrink your stomach, and keep you full of good heart-healthy nutrients that will detox your system, rev your metabolism and get you on the right track for healthy life-long maintenance of your ideal weight.  Another founding component of this two week jumpstart is to nix our addiction to sugar and salt.  For good.

Life Lessons I learned from Improv Class

As I groggily drove home from the final Improv 3 class at Second City, I tried to justify the now $1100 I have spent at the school.  Sure the classes are absolutely hysterical and so much fun.  And I can say without a doubt that I have not only stepped out my shell but I perhaps even shed the damn thing all together (picturing a shell-less turtle is not exactly the model image of courage I was trying to conjure with that metaphor - but you get the idea).  But confidence boost and mastery of 101 theater games can't really be worth the grand I should have put towards a new car...

or can it?

WHAT I LEARNED FROM IMPROV CLASS 
1. The golden improv rule: Never say no.  To say no to your scene partner in an improv sketch is the highest offensive, punishable by banishment from subsequent participation.  Really.  No matter how odd or vulgar the suggestion is - if your scene partner blurts out 'like a bag of dicks', you damn well follow up with, 'oh right, that's a great idea Billy - maybe we should gift him two bags of dicks just to show our gratitude!'.   Albeit a horrible example, this rule is painstakingly applicable in life.  Stop automating with no and negativity.  Saying YES as often as you can in life will leave you wide eyed and ready for all of life's greatest pleasures.

2. I guess the golden rule is really not just 'always say yes' it is always say 'yes - and'. It is not enough to just be a minion who blindly agrees.  In improv you add on by saying yes, then building upon the idea or situation in order to propel the scene forward with life and vitality.  Are we finding a pattern with how this applies to life? YES AND it is that in improv and in the real world it is always a rewarding experience to be a contributor.

3. Everything is open to interpretation.  Today an audience member suggested 'curling' and one improviser started curling his hair, and the other started curling weights.  They recognized the miscommunication... and made it work - turning the story into a school too cheap to build separate male and female locker rooms in the gym.  My perspective is so drastically different from yours.. and that's where the magic of collaboration comes into play.  Tis important in life to be completely open to interpretation. Let yourself see things from another point of view...and never assume anyone will see things from your eyes.

2015 Resolution

Woke up to the sounds of swaying palm trees and the trickling of the pool in a villa on Phuket Island, Thailand for my first day of 2015.  I felt the sun beaming in from the sliding doors, stretched my arms straight overhead and let out a loud exaggerated sigh.  Ahhh, another new year....

In some ways the idea of beginning a new year tugs at my anxiety.  Am I really in my late 20s?  And what the hell am I doing with my life?  On the flip side, the notion of a clean slate energizes me and helps me refocus on who I am and what I really want out of this upside down crazy life I'm living.

So I washed my face, stumbled into the kitchen for some coffee and fruit.  I took a few peculiar euphoria longana fruits and peeled them to their lychee-like soft fruit and enjoyed them by the pool.   I really wanted to indulge in my favorite guilty pleasure: spooning the skippy peanut butter straight of the jar... but I restrained myself.  It's 2015 and I'm going to be in a bathing suit all day for Buddha's sake.  Not to mention I've already gained 6 pounds this trip on ramen, pad thai, curries, and every other heavenly food I've inhaled on my three week southeast asia adventure.  I gathered my self constraint and took my towel to the grass for some quick yoga flow.   2015 I'm so going to own you.

Minutes later I was back in the kitchen to refill my coffee cup ...or at least pretend to.  My coffee wasn't even finished, and I really didn't want any more.  I was there for one thing, and one thing only.  The peanut butter.  My kryptonite.

This Thanksgiving I am thankful for...

With the dropping of temperatures to a frigid 67 degrees, we have entered the polar vortex of autumn in Los Angeles.  Tis the season of tree lightings that start November 1st, getting in verbal arguments over the last pillar candle at Home Goods, and obsessing over all things pumpkin flavor.

And with my crockpot out, my faux fur vest on and the DVR filled with Hallmark and Lifetime Xmas movies...  I have no doubt that this will be another holiday season of epic proportions.   Yet, it is those moments of a pounding eggnog hangover, the euphoria of eating a dozen sugar cookies in one sitting, and maxing out not one, but three, credit cards (and that was just on stocking stuffers) - that bring me to reflection.   Just a momentary pause from the gluttony and indulgence to remember the lessons of Christmas' poorly overshadowed cousin: Thanksgiving.  

Asking myself to dial back on the eggnog is simply a set up for failure - so I won't even bore you with a claim so pretentious.  This season, I just want to be more thankful. For family, friends, a wonderful boyfriend, a dog who only behaves when she's asleep... health, opportunity, travel, a higher IQ than the majority of the population... you know, the simple things.   So here it is.  My thanksgiving thank-ful list.  Hopefully I remember to glance back to this throughout the season so I can stay emotionally grounded while I abandon all guilt and inhale stuffing. 

This Thanksgiving I am thankful for:

  

 1. The end of the crop top trend.  I can feel it coming.  

2. George Clooney.  And each and every single one of your silver fox grey hairs. 

Turning Twenty Seven

I have to admit that my previous post was a bit more dramatic then it probably needed to be.  I might not truthfully even know what depression is... but I sure as hell was frustrated with life and couldn't muster enough energy to write.   Maybe depression manifests itself differently for everyone - but there still has never been a day in my life where I haven't truly smiled over something.  And for that I am grateful.

I wanted to write about despair for a number of reasons - but mostly because it's real.  It is something that all struggling actors grapple with at one point or another in their careers.  Maybe something that everyone experiences once or twice as they settle into their late twenties - and thus is important to shed light on.  But I also wanted to dial back for a moment and take a breath.  My blog is one giant neatly packaged story of adventure, travel and triumph -- but, as I pointed out yesterday -- I am just human too... and with that comes a less glamorous side of my me that I felt compelled to share.

That, and I just wanted to write again.   I wanted to finally digest the idea of turning another year older.  So here it goes.  Here's me at Twenty Seven.  

--

Birthdays afford me the ability to reflect on the past year - and what a hell of a year it has been.  Maybe the best year of my entire life.  Actually I'll scratch that - definitely the best year of my life. Lets hit on the highlights shall we?

TWENTY SIX

October - I move into a new little house with Matt and Shelly - My FIRST home! to decorate however I fancy!  And my own orange tree.. and soon my own garden with fresh strawberries and herbs and tomatoes.  And a perfect little yard for Shelly.  

November - I spend the fall auditioning like crazy and feeling so energized by it. Mom and I take an online screenwriting class...  and I churn out my very first screenplay!   I also spend every Wednesday night performing in my first ever play at some dark and jenky Hollywood theater that I absolutely fall in love with.  Shelly and I spend Thanksgiving on the beach in Newport.

The Acting Saga: Depressed.

It was during my second intensive acting session at Margie Haber Studio.  I had just watched a playback of my audition tape and I was shocked by how disgustingly unattractive I looked.  Physically yes... but it was even more than that.  My eyes were completely void of emotion... they were just... blank.   The instructor dismissed the tape as 'lifeless' and moved on to the next student.

Lifeless.  That night on my walk home from class I cried.  Hard.  I called my mom and said I wanted to get a nose job, called my dad and said I was ready to hang up this dream. By the time I got to the front door, I was too exhausted to think of anything besides drowning the day in food and wine.

I am no stranger to an occasional meltdown... especially since I started on this acting journey.  But normally the morning sun shining through the bedroom curtains and my dog snuggling her soft cold nose against my cheek usually refreshes me enough to shed the prior night's despair.

The next morning was different though.  The misery had sunk in and my body felt too heavy to pull

Healthy Apple Crunch!

Healthy Apple Crunch Recipe! 
An alternative to Apple Crisp - great as a dessert or as a granola!

This healthy recipe will keep you more than satisfied without de-railing your diet.

Ingredients:

1 1/2 cup old fashioned oats 
4 red apples, cut in small pieces 
1 green apple, cut 
1 banana (frozen or fresh) cut finely 
1 tbsp coconut oil
1 tsp Grade B maple syrup 
1 tbsp peanut butter (any kind)
1/4 cup nuts or trail mix 
1/4 cup cranberries
3 tsp cinnamon
sprinkle of nutmeg
1 squeeze of clementine and/or lemon
1 tbsp apple cider vinegar

Basically combine everything and put it in the oven at 375 for 20 minutes. Remove and stir. Return to oven for 25-30 minutes. Let cool before enjoying!

great paired with greek yogurt for breakfast, or frozen kefir or frozen yogurt for dessert! Also good as an on the go snack.